I’ve been hearing a soft humming, I guess you could describe it as a buzz, lately. It’s everywhere I go and it is nothing if not constant. A perpetual whisper – feeling tangibly close while frustratingly ethereal and unrecognizable.

It follows me to work, it’s there when I’m in class, and it makes itself heard when I look at myself in the mirror every morning. When I’m in my room, alone and reading, it hums, buzzes, and sings.

Sometimes I go out, get drinks, laugh a lot and hope that the noise cancels it out.
Sometimes I drown myself in work in hopes that I get distracted enough not to notice.
Sometimes I tell myself that I’ll try to understand what it means when I’m less busy.
Sometimes I make excuses, sometimes I hesitate, sometimes I deliberate.

Add up enough sometimes and you are faced with an entire lifetime.

And it dawns on me. That voice? That whisper? It’s mine. It’s me.

It’s time to ask the hard questions; time to find the person I, at best, vaguely recognize when I look in that mirror; and time to act. Because I’m tired of feeling passionless, I’m tired of wondering an infinite amount of what-ifs and should-haves and whether-tos.

It’s time to ignore possibility and focus only on what is and is not.

I started writing that it’s time to start asking and time to start trying to find.

But, no.

It’s time to act.