Have you ever seen a movie where there’s nudity in it and you think to yourself, “Wow, that was a superbly artistic and the scene just would not have resonated in the same manner had s/he been wearing clothes. I’m truly touched and seeing her breasts made me truly understand her character”?

I didn’t think so. I think to myself, “I see nipple!” And while I’ve only seen three pairs of boobs in real life (11th grade truth or dare counts, right?), I’ve seen plenty of movies and on-screen nudity (artistic nudity, that is). On very few occasions do I actually find that the nudity has brought something extra to the table (as it were).

Example, in Branagh’s Hamlet) where Ophelia is either topless or wearing a sheer gown as she’s slowly delving into madness. That was a really impressive and powerful scene. But that’s really one of the only films that comes to mind where I find that nudity adds to the film. Otherwise it’s just distracting and while I’m certainly not complaining that I get to see these beautiful women topless, I think it’s such a crock to say that they do it for the art.

And in the Illusionist while Jessica Biel doesn’t get naked (damn), I’ve realized that I can’t stand Norton’s faux accent. Actually, everyone in the film has terrible fake accents and it’s been annoying the hell out of me.

PS. Insomnia again.

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Side notes:

Branagh’s ‘Hamlet’ is one of my favorite movies. It’s a wonderful, and true rendition of the play. I’ve rarely been so impressed with a film’s acting or camera work. The pacing of the actors is simply to die for.

The Illusionist, on the other hand is…weak. The acting is unimpressive save Rufus Sewell’s Prince Leopold and Paul Giamatti’s Chief Inspector. Otherwise, I find the accents really painful to listen to and the acting very bland. And it sucks because the cinematography is really quite solid, the music is haunting, the attention to detail is spot-on…but my God, the actors! Norton and Biel try their best, I’m sure, but I just can’t feel anything for their characters even when I want to so badly.